Dear Hannah Jane
by Jasey Ray
Summary: Dear Hannah Jane. I love you. Is that enough? Is it ever enough?
1. Letter 1

Dear Hannah Jane,

Do you remember last week,

when you promised me you would love me

even when you were kissing other boys

and getting notes with hearts and nice words

and holding someone else's hand.

You would always love me.

And I couldn't say anything because

you covered my mouth with your hand

so I wouldn't interrupt you

and I wouldn't make you cry.

I want you to know I will promise

to never kiss girls unless they are you

to never answer notes and give them

to never hold someone else's hand

because I will always love you more than life.

That's a promise.

-I love you always and forever.


	2. Letter 2

Dear Hannah Jane,

I miss you.

Not a little kind of miss

a big empty one.

I miss you.

Do you miss me?

Do you wish I was still next door?

Me too.

Do you wish I wasn't here in Ohio?

Me too.

Do you wish we could walk all the way

to the coffee shop and read e.e.cummings

and kiss in the rain?

I do.

Don't you?

-I will love you always and forever.


	3. Letter 3

Dear Hannah Jane,

I know I've been late with tihs letter.

I am having trouble in this new school.

Girls have been talking to me a lot

but none of them half as pretty as you.

I had english and I wrote a poem

about autmn leaves and rain

because I couldn't bring myself to share you with anyone else.

I want you to only be mine.

-I love you always and forever.


	4. Letter 4

Dear Hannah Jane,

It is so cold here in Ohio.

Maybe thats just me.

But it's just too cold.

Here in my room

I'm shivering.

I wish I could hold you

and get all of my heat from you.

But here I am

alone, alone

with you a million miles away.

I love you.

Keep me warm.

-I love you always and forever.


	5. Letter 5

Dear Hannah Jane,

People here are nothing comapred to the people back home.

Every girl here gives me notes in my lockers

All the boys they come up and say hello

The teachers all ask about home

And I tell them it's a million miles away.

Because the only home I have is with you.

And all the girls are nothing comapred to you.

All I need is one thing.

And it's all I can't have.

I found that mix tape you made me last October.

The one you made me for my birthday, do you remember?

And it is all these pretty songs I make you think about.

Well if I could make you a mixtape like that

It'd be every song that makes me feel anything.

And it'd go on forever.

And we'd listen to it together.

And we'd never have to worry about living.

We had each other and all the feelings in the world.

And that's all we would ever need.

-I love you always and forever.


	6. Letter 6

Dear Hannah Jane,

At lunch today I sat with three different people.

A couple who loved each other just like we did

and a girl who eats strawberries all lunch

And her hair is strawberry blonde

and burnt at the bottom with black.

They were all very nice to me.

They all reminded me of my old friends.

But nobody here reminds me of you.

I don't think there is anyone in the world like you, bumblebee.

I think you're perfect that way.

-I love you always and forever.


	7. Letter 7

Dear Hannah Jane,

In english today I wrote about you for the first time

and the teacher made me read it to the class.

I'm happy and sad that I did that.

Because now people are asking about you

and when I give them answers they don't want to listen.

They don't care about my answers like you would.

But now I made it clear.

Theres a girl named Hannah back where I came from

And she's the best of me.

And I miss her more than the jelly doughnuts at Carol's Coffeeshop.

And everything back in that little town.

Where you are. And I'm not.

-I love you always and forever.


	8. Letter 8

Dear Hannah Jane,

I was reading e. e. cummings today.

And I found that poem I read to you once.

Do you remember it?

i love you much (most beautiful darling).

And you smiled and said that you loved me too

and we never let go of each other

for what seemed like forever.

But what seemss never is.

Because what forever is

is the distance in between us.

I love you much. My beautiful Darling.

-I love you always and forever.


	9. Letter 9

Dear Hannah Jane,

The girl I sit with at lunch

who eats strawberries all of the time,

She was crying today.

She cries quietly like you.

And I asked her what was wrong.

And she said someone broke her heart.

And I asked who.

And she said she loves this girl

But the girl is scared of loving her.

And now she is all alone.

And everyone hates her because of who she loves.

One thing I learned from you, peanut,

is that love should not be controlled by anyone.

Love comes in all shapes and sizes.

If it's real it should be let free.

And I told her this.

And she looked at me and didn't cry anymore.

And asked if you were out there somewhere.

And I said yes.

And she asked me if you still loved me.

And I said I didn't know.

Because you haven't written back yet.

I want you to know if I love you or not.

And I hope these words will answer it for you.

I love you always and forever.


	10. Letter 10

Dear Hannah Jane,

So tonight was the dance at my school.

My mother made me go, you know how Pam is.

And I went and stood with Strawberry girl and the nice couple.

And we all stood on the side and talked.

I really like these people. They are very nice.

But they played the song your sister alwasy sang when we were around her.

You know the really famous one they play on the radio a lot.

And you always used to laugh and say you hated that song.

But I love that song now.

Because I know whenever I hear it I'll always remember you.

And I hope the same happens with you.

-I love you always and forever.


	11. Letter 11

Dear Hannah Jane,

I ran out of postage stamps.

So I couldn't mail my past four letters to you.

But I'll try and say all I can right now.

Strawberry came up to me and was smiling.

A real happy smile like the way you always look.

And she said she told the girl what I told her.

And that the girl said she loved her.

And she hugged me.

And told me to thank you.

One day you told me you were scared.

Of never being remembered once you were gone.

And I told you that was impossible.

And you said we'll jsut have to wait.

Bumblebee without you,

this girl would be crying alone.

Yuo gave her her first love.

And you gave me you.

That's two people you have made an impact on.

And there are a million more waiting for you to come and make them happy.

Because I know you can do that Hannah.

I know it.

-I love you always and forever.


	12. Letter 12

Dear Hannah Jane,

Today it rained really hard and deep.

I forgot what it was like when it rains.

I'm so used to the air being so cold.

I forgot rain was possible.

But I stood outside and walked around.

I remembered when we kissed in the rain.

I held your cheeks.

The skin so soft feeling as though you were melting within my fingertips.

And I pulled you so close to me.

And poured my heart into you.

To keep it safe and dry.

Deep within yours.

But the rain here is cold too.

And it doesn't smell the same as it does at home.

It doesn't smell like how your hair does

whenever you dance in the rain.

-I love you always and forever.


	13. Letter 13

Dear Hannah Jane,

Someday I'm going to drive home and see you.

Romeo and Juliet only had family problems seperating them.

And this distance will play the same role as their conflict.

Because distance felued their passion.

But I love you more than Romeo ever could love Juliet.

And the moemnt you leave to go to heaven I will go with you.

Because I know I could never go a day knowing you are gone.

But when I'm done with school. And have enough money.

I'm going to drive across this country.

And I won't ever stop.

We are reading Romeo and Juliet in English.

Without you taking out all the poetry it's harder the second time around.

But I'm trying to remember everything you said

like I'm trying to with everything else.

-I love you always and forever.


	14. Reply 1

Dear Christopher Drew,

I haven't written to you. Because I miss you a lot. I cry a lot whenever I get your letters. I miss you.

I haven't read e.e.cummings since you left. And I haven't had any coffee either.

It all seems so empty alone.

I love you.

-Hannah.

PS I love you more.

* * *

**A/N: Review please. The last few have been really helpful. Criticism is always admired. But kind words are always taken to heart. Please tell me what you think will you? Write back.**


	15. Letter 14

Dear Hannah Jane,

I love you more.

- I will love you always and forever.


	16. Letter 15

Dear Hannah Jane,

Remember our first kiss.

We were in the fifth grade.

And we were at Shannon Wilcox's Boys Girls Party.

And we played spin the bottle.

Only girls spun it.

No boys.

And you spun it and it landed on a boy.

It was Patrick.

And all the girls giggled.

And you went to kiss Patrick.

But he said no.

It was too gross.

And you felt really sad

because you thought no boy wouldever kiss you.

And when you were crying

because you were right

no boy you got would kiss you.

And I patted your back

and told you to stop crying.

And you shook your head.

And I kissed you.

That's always what I consider our first kiss.

Because it was perfect when you were in fifth grade.

And it was our little secret.

And you smiled for forever.

I swear.

You smiled for forever.

- I will love you always and forever.


	17. Letter 16

Dear Hannah Jane,

Okay.

So I guess it was unfair that I said that our first kiss was in fifth grade.

You said it didn't count.

But we never talked for a while.

Because you had a big crush on me.

And I had one on you.

But you stopped one day and 'went out' with Patrick.

And I stopped liking you.

When we were a little older.

And you started getting as pretty as you are now,

You and I both read the same e. e. cummings book.

And we were in the Coffee shop

talking about e. e. cummings.

And I read you that poem.

And you looked at me very softly.

And you asked me if I could walk you home.

And we came to this street.

And it was snowy and pretty outside.

And you stopped on the yellow frozen lines

in the street and brought up that old party.

And said it didn't count as a first kiss.

And I said it did for me.

And you said it didn't for you.

And I asked you what did count for you.

And you started talking.

But I interrupted you like I always did

and kissed you.

- I will love you always and forever.


	18. Letter 17

Dear Hannah Jane,

Strawberry is very happy.

She is in love.

I wish I could feel as happy as her.

Because you can just tell form her face.

But I smile so much when I'm writing to you

about first kisses and e. e. cummings

and dreaming about us together.

Do you ever dream of us together?

- I will love you always and forever.


	19. Letter 18

Dear Hannah Jane,

I've been listening to vinyls alot

My dad says they beat iPods a nd that crap.

But I think they are just pretty.

Especially when it's cold in the winter

and the girl you once kissed today

for the first time (or the second

but you never count the fifth grade.

I still do) and you miss her terribly.

They make you feel warm.

On a day you once felt warm all on your own.

- I will love you always and forever.


	20. Letter 19

Dear Hannah Jane,

I've been talking to Strawberry a lot.

I think you guys would like each other,

You'd be fast friends.

I'm ashamed to admit this

But I've told her all about you,

I just feel bad because I never told you her real name.

It's not that I don't trust you, Peanut.

I'll trust you with my life, my air.

My existance and my soul.

The moon. The stars. The letter 'Z'

(No, I didn't forget how much you love

the letter 'Z')

My everything and everywhere.

Because I already do.

You have every part of me.

So the least I can do is trust a friend

with you.

She doens't very much like you.

Not in a bad way.

Just in the way that you won't call

or write back.

And I said you did write back.

I don't need you to write back.

I would love and cry again like I did when you answered

but I won't ask too much of you.

Because listening is all I need you to do.

Just listen, Hannah Jane,

because you know better to not interrupt me.

Because you know I always do.

Because I'm writing these letters to say I love You.

And I'll be saying this till I die and beyond.

And if you never say it back again I know

it's just because you know what it's like ot be interrupted all the time.

You did deal with me non-stop for three years, didn't you?

- I will love you always and forever.


	21. Letter 20

Dear Hannah Jane,

Christmas is coming up.

I bought presents for my family

and the couple and Strawberry

(I'm pretty good friends with the couple

they help me with Calculus, because you

of all people should no I hatehatehate

Math. But you were the best teacher.

I'm glad I never took you for granted.)

I just bought presents that have inside jokes

or memories.

Little things.

But I found the perfect gift for you

So I bought it and I am saving it

in case we spend Christmas together

sometime in the future.

Because I could never mail it.

I need to see your face when you get it.

- I will love you always and forever.


	22. Letter 21

Dear Hannah Jane,

My mother thinks I'm too sad.

She says I should do more stuff with Strawberry.

I haven't told her that Strawberry has a girl

and I only have those feelings for you.

Because I don't talk about you to anyone

except for Strawberry because she's the only one who gets it.

But Hannah.

Do I really need to talk about you

for everyone to know I'm in love with you still?

- I will love you always and forever.


	23. Reply 2

Dear Christopher Drew,

I do not understand why you think our first kiss was in fifth grade. Nothing counts in Elementary school. It's like counting a first kiss in Kindergarten. Jesus, sometimes I think e. e. cummings got to your head, Mister.

I can't really write to you. I mean I try. I always get too sad. And if I do finish a letter I can never usually bring myself to mail it. It's one of those littl habits of mine. I do love you Christopher. You were my first everything. It's just you know I cut people out sometimes. But I hope everything is good.

I want you to be happy. I hate it when you're sad because I honestly think that you are just contagious Chris. Everything you feel just spreads everywhere and if you're unhappy, then what does that say about the people you surround yourself with. Please be happy. You make me sad just by reading your messy handwriting every other day or two.

But I miss you. School isn't very fun. Mrs. Connellin thinks I'm slacking. I just tell her that my english tutor moved. And she asks me to ask you about the book we are reading. We're reading Romeo and Juliet the real version. I don't get it at all. e. e. cummings is easier to read. The fact he has no rules makes it simpler. But Shakespear had to follow all of these poetic things and googlygucks. You're good with that stuff.

But I miss you every day. I can't walk down Strawberry Street. And I know you call you're friend Strawberry to make me remember that. But I don't get why if you're so sure we had our first kiss in that girl's bathroom.

I cry a lot now. My mom thinks I'm too sad too. I don't want you to think I'm with Patrick or other boys. Because I want you to know that I'll pick up the phone if you keep calling. I promise. I miss you're voice. Even though when I hear it I can't speak. I miss you.

I love you Christopher Drew. I really do.

- Love,

Hannah.

PS. Maybe I'm not a complete poetical mess. I did rhyme there just at the end.

* * *

**A/N: Dear Readers: are you bubbling over with happiness? AHH. Me too! **_Check out my new story. It's in the normal format I write in. "Perfect Kisses Lead to One Night Stands" This is just an expiriment._ **Thanks for your kind words! I love all of you who write back to me. Please keep writing or I'll miss you terribly.**


	24. Letter 22

Dear Hannah Jane,

I didn't cry this time I got you're letter.

I was too happy to know you're still there.

But, Bumblebee, I've been a horrible mess in math.

I failed this test on your favorite

lesson in Calculus. Sorry.

But I will help you in English.

In Romeo and Juliet

the whole story is about a boy and a girl

who love each other

and can't be together

because there is something holding them apart

(something is keeping them very far apart)

and they are trying to love each other

and look past all of that to be happy.

And even though they die together in the end.

They still end up together

in the saddest "happily ever after."

But Hannah, I wish ours can be the happiest.

I don't think I'll keep calling.

I hope you understand.

Because if I start calling I'll stop writing.

And then if you stop answering again,

I don't think you'll answer my letters

or read them.

I know that's stupid.

But so is the fact I know our first kiss happened in

the fifth grade

and you live through that.

-I will love you always and forever.


	25. Letter 23

Dear Hannah Jane,

Why aren't you answering the phone again?

I slept for days to make the pain go away,

But all I thought was: was this goodbye?

Was the last our last.

If so please don't forget me.

I'll never forget you.

Because I know this means more to you than I

and it means life to me.

I don't cry anymore.

my mother's finally smiling again.

but my writing's getting messy and my

hand it has a cramp.

I've written this four times.

Please please please

read these and never forget.

Forgetting was something you

could never do.

It's something I learned from you.

It's something you taught me

with your love, your trust,

your beauty, your grace,

your undeniable happyness,

and you.

I love you my Hannah Jane.

My bumblebee.

My peanut.

I'll write to you some other time.

When I wake up from this horrible dream.

Promise me you read this.

And I'll promise I'll never forget Arizona.

Or e.e.cummings and our frist kiss(es).

oh and, I love you more.

-Always and Forever.


End file.
